Yes, I am serious with that title. I’ve often been struck by the similarities between dating and interviewing, and the seriousness of the outcome for both parties.
Love is in the air Snooki
Let’s say you are sitting at a nice sidewalk cafe on the boardwalk at the Jersey Shore on a beautiful spring morning in June. The birds are chirping, the waves are lapping at the beach, and there is a soft, warm breeze blowing. Suddenly you see the woman (or man) of your dreams sitting alone on a bench, looking peacefully out across the Atlantic horizon. You are instantly attracted to her and decide you need to summon your courage and talk to her.
You walk up and say something witty to which she smiles politely at you. You stay and talk a little longer until you realize you have been chatting for ten minutes. You finally exchange phone numbers and leave.
That first part of your job courtship is the process whereby you have identified a job, no, not a job – THE JOB that you are attracted to! You see it, you want it and you start figuring out how to get it. So, you summon all of your creative powers and rewrite and submit your resume. Then, you wait and wait and wait, until finally they call.
You leave your beautiful young woman at the boardwalk hoping she gave you her real phone number. You want to call her right away, but you know there is an unwritten dating law that says you must wait, and wait, and wait for at least two days before asking her out.
So, two days pass and you call her. Your heart is pounding as the phone rings….”answer, please answer” you are pleading.
“Hello?” you hear her voice. You proceed to ask her out. And against all odds she accepts!!
The HR Department calls to do the initial phone interview. They ask a few perfunctory questions (I know I could have just said routine, but perfunctory sounds smarter) to see if you are minimally capable of performing the job before the scheduling the interview.
You have one chance to make a first impression
You arrive at your dream girl’s house at exactly 6:55 p.m. – five minutes before the agreed upon time. You don’t want to be too early, and definitely never late. Her roommate greets you, and tells you that your date is making last minute preparations.
She finally comes down, and the two of you head out to a small coffee shop for a nice cup of coffee and some small talk. You need to get acquainted and break the ice. Those first 15 minutes are very awkward, so you just talk about yourself for a little bit until your nerves are settled. Then, you ask her to tell you something about herself.
The HR admin greets you in the lobby and takes back to the HR office where you will meet the HR staffing specialist who will interview you. She asks you a few questions about yourself to let your nerves settle, and break the ice. The first few minutes of any interview are very awkward, so you just talk about yourself in a very informal way. Then, she tells you a little about the company.
The date goes very well. You pull up to her place, get out of the car and walk her to the door. Its still early, but you decided that the first date should be just a little less serious. You ask her if she had a good time, and she says that she did. You are pretty sure she likes you. You kiss her lightly and tell her you will call her. You walk back to your car feeling absolutely incredible.
The interview ends and the HR representative thanks you for coming in. She says she will be calling you in the next few days to schedule one more interview with the hiring manager. Her professional demeanor has softened and she has become friendlier. You feel you like you aced the interview. You walk back to your car feeling absolutely incredible.
Several days go by, and you call your dream girl. She answers the phone on the first ring, which is a very good sign. You ask her out for tomorrow, breaking all the rules of wait time, but to your utter amazement she gives you an enthusiastic “yes”!!!
You arrive to pick her up, but this time she answers the door. There is no roommate, and the nervousness is all but gone. You feel this wonderful connection as the chemistry between you is just fantastic. You go to dinner this time, a much more serious proposition. Dinner is filled with more banter, some sexual tension, and fun conversation. The relationship is heading to some wonderful high ground.
The HR person calls you to schedule your second interview with your potential boss. You are just so excited that you may get your dream job after all. The interview is scheduled for tomorrow! Wow – they move fast.
You arrive at the company the HR staffer comes out to meet you personally. You are not greeted by the HR admin as before, she is no where to be found. This is a very good sign. The HR staffer acts much friendlier. She no longer treats you as a stranger, but someone she actually knows. She takes you to the office of your “new boss”, introduces you, winks at you, and leaves.
After dinner, you take your dream girl home. You feel the chemistry between you building. The attraction is getting stronger, and you love the feeling. You arrive at her place and walk her to the door, but this time she holds your hand. Can this just be the second date? You feel like you’ve known her for years. At the door, you give her a much nicer kiss. After a second, she pulls back and says “would you like to come in?” You don’t remember being this excited in a very long time.
The interview is going wonderfully. You have connected with the new boss really well. The chemistry between you is great. Every so often she even jokes with you. She is pretty cool. At the end of the interview, she suddenly says “would you like to tour the offices? I can show where you would sit if we offer you the job?” You don’t remember being this excited in a very long time.
You call your dream girl to ask her out for a third time. She is very excited to hear your voice and says yes that she wants to see you again. You are surprised when she suggests that the two of you go to her parents house this weekend for a cookout. Parents? Uh-oh…isn’t this only the third date? But, because you find yourself thinking about her so much, you agree to do it.
The two of you arrive at the home of her parents. You are greeted by her mother, father, and 19 year old brother. He has sort of a sneer on his face, and you aren’t sure you like him. But, her parents are wonderful, and make you feel very comfortable. You like these people – well, maybe not the brother.
You receive a call from the new boss. She asks if you would please come in for a third interview. She would like you to meet some of the members of the team. Members of the team? Uh-oh…but isn’t a third interview? But, because you want this job so badly, you agree to do it.
You arrive at the office and are met by the new boss. She is smiling and friendly, and you are happy you came. She leads you into a conference room where there are three other people. Two are very friendly and make you feel very comfortable. One is younger, and has a sneer on his face. You like these people – well, maybe not the guy with the sneer.
A goodnight kiss?
As you and your dream girl leave her parents’ home, she whispers “they loved you”. Odd as it sounds, that makes you feel good. In three dates you have decided you want to be in a relationship with this girl. You start to have thoughts of being together, sleep overs, moving in together, and finally, marrying her. You know it’s crazy, but you have lost some self-control. It’s what my friend calls “two dates and a U-Haul”. You have decided to accept the position.
As you finish the interview, your new boss leads you out of the conference room. As you walk down the hall she whispers “they loved you”, and that makes you feel good. In three interviews you have decided you want to be an employee of this company. You can see yourself doing very well, making presentations, getting rasies, finally getting promoted. You know it’s crazy, but you have lost some self-control. She takes you back to her office and officially offers you the job. You don’t even finish reading the offer letter and decide to accept the position.
In all honesty, you will actually spend more time deciding whether to marry this girl than you will on taking a job. A job where you will spend more of your waking, best hours than you will with the person with whom you fell in love.
The interview is really just a chemistry test. You have all the qualifications for the job. It is now a matter of whether you can stay in love with the job for the next few years, or will you develop a wandering eye.
Feel free to email me with any questions at mike.anderson@directyourcareer.com.
Take care.